Monday, March 29, 2010

My Skin

It started last May and a dry patch on my left wrist. It seemed to spread to my whole wrist, then to my right wrist. Then my thighs, the interior of my elbows, my ears, the skin around my eyes, and my neck. The worst was my neck.

I tried many of the alternative medical approaches (I suppose just chiropractics and homeopathy). But I wasn't able to really give homeopathy a fair chance because in early March, I took a trip to the Emergency Room (upon the advice of the chiropractor).

Things had gotten bad, really, really bad. I could not twist my neck for fear of breaking the scab that had encircled my neck. I could not scratch for fear that I would damage further the already damaged skin, and I could not stop scratching due to itching and my weakness.

At a Dermatologists' office, later that day, my sores were swabbed and later revealed to have both Strep and Staph infections. I got jabbed with some Kenelog (strong steriod) and told to take oatmeal baths every night for 2 weeks as well as take an antibiotic medication. I was 85% better after the first night. That is what was happening with my skin.

Inside me, I was wrestling with all kinds of meaning. "Why am I eschewing the conventional medical approaches?" "What is going to happen if I don't get better?" "What is God trying to teach me?" "What do people really see when they look at me?" "Will I every be able to play with my kids again - in a physically active way?" "How can I be happy with who I am right now?" "What does God see in me?" "What can I learn?"

Sometimes I was very sad; many times very lonely. Strangely, I was also sometimes happy, and I would not have expected it. But this experience gave me a compassion for people who suffer, and it gave me a compassion for myself as well. I've not yet suffered more than I did during those many months. Life is so good, even with the difficult skin. God is so good, even with the difficult skin.

In the last few days, three weeks after the visit to the Emergency Room, my skin is starting to have troubles in some of the same spots again. I'm afraid.

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